


i was scared (and all alone inside my head)

by smallredboy



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Idiots in Love, Kissing, M/M, Married Couple, Separation Anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-12 03:11:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11728275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallredboy/pseuds/smallredboy
Summary: Thomas goes to France for a business trip; James suffers from separation anxiety.





	i was scared (and all alone inside my head)

**Author's Note:**

> i love jeffmads but i havent written anything for it except for porn so i decided to fix that
> 
> enjoy!

James has a tendency to be very skittish when Thomas has to leave somewhere for work. When he tells him he has to go to France for one business thing or another, he clings to him like a child, begging him to go with him.

"They got me a hotel room with only one small bed, Jemmy, I'm sorry," he says, and James wants to argue, tell him that they can make it work. "You have work, too. Don't worry, I'll be back soon."

James fidgets with his fingers but ends up nodding, kissing his husband and trying to make sense of all his anxious thoughts. He's way too stressed by the thought of Thomas leaving to the other side of the ocean.

Two days later, Thomas spams him with texts and pictures relating to France. He takes photos of the dishes he eats and about twenty of the Eiffel Tower. He looks so happy in all of them, ear-to-ear smiles and toothy grins. It makes James' heart do its jumpy thing, but he can't help but fear it's not just how beautiful France is that he's so happy to be there.

After two weeks of Thomas being over there, in other continent, making business deals, his anxiety skyrockets. He fears he's going to leave him, that he found a good, well-mannered, not sick all the time man to replace him. He knows it makes no sense, the ring pressing against his finger, but God does he fear it'll happen.

James tries not to worry; he paces around their house, tries to cling to the scent he finds in the pillow Thomas sleeps in. He calls Aaron, who really is his free therapist, and he argues with Hamilton when he brings up Thomas being gone. He frets and he worries and it's a little too much.

He starts falling sick the day before Thomas comes home. He feels lightheaded and his stomach hurts, but he just downs a painkiller and hopes for the best. He isn't very keen on going to a doctor, mostly because if he went everytime he felt sick he'd be there more often than he'd be at his house.

He's watching TV in the living room when he hears someone knock on the door. He goes and opens the door, and when he sees Thomas' curls and shining brown eyes he squeals in happiness. "Thomas! I missed you!"

Thomas exclaims that the missed him too as he closes the door behind him. He has a suitcase and a bag, but he leaves them by the entrance without much care before walking to the sofa.

They're soon cuddling, Thomas rambling aimlessly about the food and the landscapes while James simply buries his face in the crook of his husband's neck. "I was so anxious these weeks," he admits quietly before a cough rumbles through his throat.

Thomas pats his cut short hair and then kisses his cheek, looking at him with adoration. "I'm sorry, baby. I'll be sure to make it shorter next time. Did you do anything these weeks?"

James smiles sadly before smashing his lips against Thomas', and he realizes he missed them so, so much. After pulling away, he says, "I argued with Hamilton, made some deals, uh," _had separation anxiety so awful I imagined you cheating on me on the daily_.

He doesn't say it. He knows Thomas won't ridicule him for it— he's more than aware of his problem with being separated. But what if he does. He fiddles with Thomas' hot pink coat and sighs.

Thomas looks at him with clear concern. His eyes are so beautiful, like coffee beans. "You alright, Jemmy?"

James bites his lip, raises his eyebrows. "Yeah."

Thomas knows he's lying; the smaller man knows that. But he doesn't say anything, probably to not upset him. He kisses his cheek, ruffles his own hair. "You can tell me," he murmurs, air tickling James' ear.

"I just... had these stupid fears while you were gone." James doesn't look at him, retreating back to himself as Thomas frowns.

He knows immediately what he's talking about, despite how vague he's being. "I won't ever cheat on you, Jemmy. I love you so much."

James digs his nails into the other man's coat, sighing. "I'm sorry," he says as he lays his head on Thomas' shoulder. "I love you too."

"Nothing to be sorry for," Thomas tells him, kissing his hair. James smiles and looks up for their lips to meet again.

His fears of Thomas flirting with other men, kissing them are dissipated as he moves his lips against his. "Wanna go out for dinner?" the taller man asks.

James grins as he squeezes his hand. "Always, my prince," he answers. Thomas beams as they get up and get ready for a dinner date.


End file.
